I am a mom to a busy little two and a half year boy. Needless to say, he is a boundless ball of energy, with a cheeky little smile and an obsession for cars and airplanes. When my son was about 6 months old, I felt like I had reached that magical place of “having figured it all out”- we had him in a decent routine, he slept through the night and definitely loved his solids. I told everyone that I would happily have another baby immediately as he was such a dream…..
Fast forward a year, and things had changed dramatically! My not-so-little person had transformed into a busy little boy who was pushing boundaries and being as terrible as the books predicted (lol). At which point, I took a step back and wondered how my mother every survived one child let alone two without any alcohol! I questioned whether another baby was on the cards for me, as I was no longer convinced that I was capable of dealing with a crazy toddler and tiny infant simultaneously.
After much back and forth discussions both internally and with my very patient husband, I decided that I did actually want to have another baby. Something that was truly comforting through all the mental processing, was the positive reassurances I received from my Clamber Club moms. More seasoned moms with 2 or 3 little ones were very honest about their experiences, and one even said that “more than one child” was not for everyone. Making me realize that the decision to bring a second little person into this world is a daunting one, and I was right in not taking it lightly.
Then you have your 12 week scan and your heart melts. There is a little person with little hands and feet, and quickest little heartbeat and all else is forgotten. Since falling pregnant with little person number 2, there are a couple of things I have learnt and would like to share.
Things I have learnt so far:
No pregnancy is the same…
As with everything in life, no pregnancy is the same. My first pregnancy was a dream, I did not even realize I was pregnant until I discovered that I had a stomach bug! With baby number 2 things were vastly different- full on nausea, horrible headaches and even crazier hormonal mood swings. As we approached the 12 week mark of the pregnancy even my husband said “he’d like his wife back” as the crazy hormones were taking their toll.
REST? What rest?
Everyone tells you this, but only once you are pregnant and have a toddler do you realize it is true. There is no rest. With my first pregnancy, I could put my feet up after a long day and simply relax and think about the little person growing in my belly. No such luck second time around. The minute my son is away, I’m being bossed around our home, playing outside or being asked to pick him up.
Fear of the KNOWN….
With your first pregnancy, you read all the books and were fearful of the birthing process, as it is completely unknown. Now the fear of what lies ahead looms in front of me, and I realize that all I can do is hope and pray that things go well. No amount of overthinking, planning and “what ifs” will do me any good currently.
As baby number 2 is still hibernating inside my belly, I do not have actual experience on what it is really like having 2 children. Therefore, I asked my Clamber Club moms who currently have second little ones, what their best advice would be for me, and other second time mommies. This is what they had to say.
Advice from one mom to another:
- Stay calm, it will be easier said than done, but remember to take a deep breath.
- When travelling in your car with both children, put the older child into their car seat first and take them out of the car last. Let’s not forget that they are mobile, and no mom wants to be running after the older child in a parking lot.
- Have a weekly date with your older child, so that you can spend some special time with them. The adjustment to having a new sibling can be quite difficult and you want your older child to feel secure.
- Keep the routine of the older child, as this will help them feel secure. Just remember your newborn won’t remember whether you were there or not.
- When your older child arrives at the hospital you should not be holding their new brother or sister, and they should arrive with a gift for their sibling.
I am sure there are many more tips and little nuggets of advice to be shared. My list is by no means exhaustive but is a helpful starting point for things to consider. Even so, I am sure that even once Baby 2.0 arrives, there will still be a multitude of things I will learn and figure out as time passes.
Thank you to all my moms who gave me feedback, it was much appreciated.