Separation anxiety is a normal part of emotional development in babies, toddlers, and even preschool-aged children. It often begins around 6 to 8 months, peaks between 10 to 18 months, and can continue at different stages as children grow. While it’s most common in infancy, some toddlers and preschoolers also struggle with goodbyes—especially when starting daycare, preschool, or new routines.
If your little one cries when you leave, refuses to be apart from you, or struggles with new environments, understanding separation anxiety and using simple strategies can make transitions easier.
What Is Separation Anxiety?
Separation anxiety happens when children realise that their caregivers can leave—and they’re unsure when they’ll return. This is linked to object permanence, the understanding that people and things still exist even when they’re out of sight.
- Babies may cry when a parent leaves the room.
- Toddlers may cling to a parent when dropped off at daycare.
- Preschoolers may experience anxiety about being apart from parents, especially in new situations.
While separation anxiety can be challenging, it’s a sign of a healthy attachment. With the right approach, children can learn to feel secure even when apart from their loved ones.
How to Help Your Baby, Toddler, or Preschooler with Separation Anxiety
1. Introduce Caregivers and New Environments Early
Whether it’s a babysitter, grandparent, daycare, or preschool, early exposure can help children feel more comfortable. Babies between 6 and 8 months are usually open to new people, while toddlers and preschoolers may take longer to adjust. Gradual introductions can make a big difference.
2. Say Goodbye – and Keep It Short
Sneaking away might seem like an easier option, but it can actually make anxiety worse. Instead, create a short and reassuring goodbye routine:
✅ Say, “I’ll be back soon!” with a smile
✅ Give a quick hug or a special goodbye gesture
✅ Leave confidently—lingering or showing hesitation can make it harder
3. Use Play to Build Confidence
Peek-a-boo and hide-and-seek help babies and toddlers understand that you always come back. For older toddlers and preschoolers, role-playing with dolls or stuffed animals can help them process their feelings about separations.
4. Encourage Independence
Teaching children to be comfortable playing or spending time without direct parent involvement can ease separation anxiety. Try these strategies:
- Babies: Sit nearby while they play, then gradually increase the distance.
- Toddlers: Encourage solo play with favourite toys and introduce playdates with trusted friends.
- Preschoolers: Give them small responsibilities, like choosing their own clothes or packing their school bag, to help them feel in control.
5. Create a Comforting Goodbye Ritual
A predictable goodbye routine helps children feel secure. Whether it’s a special hug, handshake, song, or a comfort item like a favourite toy or blanket, consistency is key.
6. Validate Their Feelings
For toddlers and preschoolers, using simple words to acknowledge their emotions can help:
- “I know you feel sad when I leave, but I will always come back.”
- “You’re safe with your teacher, and I’ll see you after school!”
Encouraging children to express their emotions and offering reassurance can ease anxiety.
When Does Separation Anxiety End?
Most babies outgrow separation anxiety by 18 to 24 months, but some toddlers and preschoolers may continue experiencing distress during big transitions, such as starting preschool or moving to a new home.
The good news is that separation anxiety is temporary. With patience, consistency, and reassurance, children gain confidence in handling time apart from their caregivers.
Final Thoughts
Separation anxiety is a normal part of growing up, whether in babies, toddlers, or preschoolers. By using simple strategies, you can help your child feel safe and secure when you’re apart. Have you found any helpful techniques? Share your experiences in the comments!
This article was inspired by Kinedu, a platform that provides science-backed activities for babies, toddlers, and preschoolers.
👉 Learn more at Clamber Club.